I have been there. I am there. Totally contemplating how I am going to be as good as “that” girl or “that” couple. I have struggled with this for YEARS. Years, I tell you. I have no advice for fitting in. NONE. I am definitely here to tell you how to fit OUT? Is that even a saying? Whatever, who cares. I struggled with fitting in throughout high school and still do. I had a few good “friends”but definitely only one or two true ones that would stick with me till the end. High school…I will tell you it is hard to make friends and fit in. I am pretty sure my senior year of high school, I hung out at my house most the time. It was hard. It gets harder everyday for me as well as I see these young girls with the same problem. This is for you girls feeling like nothing you do will help you fit in. IT WON’T! I learned that the hard way. I can tell you I have bought the expensive clothes, I have been ugly to people I didn’t want to be ugly to just to “fit in,” and I have done stupid things just to TRY and fit in that didn’t help me at all. Nothing you can or will do will make someone like you. Let me be the first to tell you it didn’t help me fit in nor did it make me feel like the person I should strive to feel like. Why do others feel like they have to put you down? It is because they aren’t happy with themselves, most definitely. And I get it, we have all done it, which makes sense because at some point in life at some time we were all unhappy with ourselves. I never shared a lot of my struggles in high school. However, here I am pouring out my heart for that girl that needs this. In high school, I promise you I always thought someone was talking ugly about me, or left me out on purpose, or blah blah. You are probably thinking that this is normal for a high school girl, but it didn’t feel normal, I felt like such an outcast. I never felt accepted but that wasn’t anyones fault except my own. I didn’t accept myself and it took me a long time to learn to accept myself. I never talked much in high school at least, not as much as I do now.. I was so scared that people would judge me. It’s honestly the one thing that makes me not miss high school. Thank you ANXIETY, I sure do love you. I still am this way sometimes. I constantly worry about what others think but everyday, I overcome it little by little. I seriously posted a picture the other day, and nit picked myself to the point I almost deleted it… wow. How can someone want to be a lifestyle blogger & not like herself? I am still working on this everyday but for the girl that is just like me, you are not alone. Obviously I don’t have all the answers on how to be yourself, but one thing for sure, I am trying and I have never felt so good since I started this blog. I don’t know the answers & I don’t know how to become what society wants me to become, but I can promise you everyday if you strive to be a better YOU, you will feel more confident, more beautiful, and more happy…2 weeks ago I started going back to the gym, obviously I haven’t had a tremendous weight loss transformation or anything like that within two weeks but I have never felt so happy and confident. I may not be where society wants me to be in my fitness, finances, or anything for that matter…but I am deff where I need to be. Basically my point of writing this is to tell you, NO matter what you do, what you say, what you wear, YOU will never be what everyone wants you to be. But that is totally okay! You don’t need to be anyone but the person God intended you to be.
Here we go, 3 years of marriage on July 20th, and turning 21 July 30th. Most of you are already thinking…wow they were/are so young. I cannot tell you enough how many times I got that once we got engaged, once we got married, and how many times I get it when other people ask how old I am. But why don’t we tell couples that are 28-30 anything about how hard marriage is? Do couples that are older not get divorced? I am pretty sure they do. A LOT of people will say that statistics show that younger couples don’t last. For sure, marriage is the hardest thing you will ever endure. I’ll be the first to tell you, it’s a roller coaster. Those couples you see on Instagram or Facebook that look like their marriage is perfect, It isn’t real. People only highlight the BEST moments in their life. No one talks about the bad stuff. This took a while for me to understand, I used to compare my relationship to things I saw on TV, social media, or in public. But, the truth is marriage is hard. People fight, people say things they don’t mean, & it is hard to live with someone that doesn’t see things exactly how you see them. Marriage is hard no matter the age. It probably is harder when you are both are still trying to find out who you are, but it most likely doesn’t get any easier if you wait till you are older. I’ve honestly grown up a lot faster than I thought I would….but that isn’t a bad thing, & I don’t regret a second of any of my decisions. Jarrett & I were able to pay off his truck, buy a house, do renovations on the house & go on a honeymoon to Hawaii all within 3 years. The most important thing in marriage is to have someone that brings out the best in you. I’ll tell you that Jarrett brings out the absolute best in me. He drives me insane sometimes, but for the most part he is seriously my rock. He encourages me to make good decisions with our finances, fitness, and has supported me throughout becoming a nurse, and a new passion of blogging. I’ve had people tell me that I would miss out on being young. Yes, I do miss my parents paying for all my bills lol but I don’t ever think I missed out on anything else. I knew from a young age, that Jarrett was my soul mate. We had lots of ups & downs but we never gave up on each other. That is exactly how I feel like most marriages are, a lot of ups & downs but the thing to overcome each of those ups & downs is to never give up. Jarrett and I both have grown a lot over the years. We have been through 2, 6 month deployments which made us so much stronger. The thing about growing is that you have to grow together and not apart. You can’t worry about the “what-ifs” & what others think. Moving to New Mexico is one of the greatest things that ever happened to our relationship. Neither of us had friends here at first, we had to rely on each other & it made us the best of friends. Your best friend should be your spouse. I tell Jarrett everything. If you tell me a secret, I’ll probably be telling Jarrett. Sorry haha. That doesn’t mean we don’t fight or argue. I’m pretty sure we pick on each other CONSTANTLY, but that is what makes life interesting. Being a wife, is one of my favorite things. One bible verse gets me through every time someone questions my age:
1 Timothy 4:12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.
This bible verse means so much to me. Just because you are young, you can overcome so much through God. If you make your relationship surrounded by God there is nothing your marriage can’t handle.
Obviously your first year of marriage, you don’t expect your husband to be gone 6 months of it. Then the second year of marriage, you don’t expect him to leave again. Being married to a military man, you are constantly counting down the days until you’ll be apart again, then you are counting down the days till you are back in each other’s arms. Then, repeat. I often get asked about how I handle my husband deploying so often. Obviously I’m not an expert and there are plenty of people that have spouses that deploy way more often. I am the first to say though that his deployments have made me a much more independent person. The first time Jarrett left, the DAY he left, I see my first scorpion in the bathroom. I seriously was in tears on the phone with my mom basically ready to pack my bags and move houses. For clarification, we do not have scorpions in MS. So, when I saw this one for the first time in NM, I literally freaked. I threw Jarrett’s boots at it till it died (it was in the bathtub). Then, I did the unspeakable. I closed the bathroom door & left the scorpion there for 6 months until Jarrett came home to pick it up. We had 2 bathrooms. GROSS now that I think about it, but you guys have no idea how scared I am of bugs! I never have lived that down with Jarrett. He brings it up ALL the time lol. However, his second deployment I gained so much independence. I remember feeling like such a cool kid putting up the toilet paper holder, and towel holder on the wall all by myself. However not without any hiccups. I accidentally pulled the toilet paper holder too hard and ripped the dry wall right off the wall. However, because of my newly gained independence I went to Lowe’s and YouTube how to repair a wall. Then Tadaaaa. All fixed. I also realized no one was there to protect me from the bugs. Therefore, I learned to not be so scared of bugs. I also went and got bug killer which helped a lot. LOL. But enough about that, you guys want to know how to survive a deployment. I’ll give you 8 things that can definitely help.
1. Busy yourself. Take those classes you wanted to take. Find a hobby. Sounds easy enough right?
2. Go home. Unfortunately Jarrett’s last deployment I only got to go home for about 2 weeks because of nursing school. But this is one of the best pieces of advice I can give to those that can do this. Surrounding yourself with family makes the time go by so much faster.
3. Find friends you can talk to. If you need to cry, laugh, or anything find a friend that will help you through it.
4. Don’t overload him with trying to face time. You will both think you need to face time everyday maybe twice a day. However, limiting it can help both of you. You both will most likely be on different schedules. Therefore, one of you will be getting up earlier or staying up later. Which most of you know, when you don’t sleep enough you are grumpy. Also scheduling it gives you something to look forward toward & saves you the heartache in case his schedule gets messed up (with the military schedules can change so easily).
5. Remind each other how thankful you are. Make sure to remind him that you’re thankful for his service and guys, remember to remind your wife that you are thankful for her. (This is a big one in any relationship, but long distance can be harder for some).
6. Don’t focus on the “date” he is supposed to be coming home. With what experience I have with this, he most likely won’t come home on his approximate date. It could be a week late or a month late.
7. Focus on a goal for both of you, whether that be fitness, finances, etc.
8. Focus on growing your relationship with God.
One thing I can say with true confidence is that absence truly makes the heart grow fonder. I do not think I have ever been more in LOVE with my sweet Jarrett. Remember that this is just as hard on him, if not harder. Growing together is super important.
I am so happy to discuss with y’all my partnership with “Smile Brilliant.” Smile Brilliant is a teeth whitening company that focuses on giving you that brighter smile without all the harsh affects other teeth whitening companies will give you. I started my teeth whitening journey with them about a couple weeks ago. Here is the process:
1. You purchase your kit
2. You wait for your kit to come in the mail, when it arrives you will make your own impressions with the putty they send you.
3. Send off your impressions in the mail in the prepaid package they send in your kit.
4. Wait about a week and your impressions will be back! Now, it’s time to start whitening.
5. I do approximately one line across the bottom tray and one line across the top.
6. Wait 30 mins to 3 hours.
7. Take the whitening trays out & put in the desensitizing gel and wait another 15-20 mins.
8. Brush your teeth!!
I loved my results with smile brilliant. I have always had yellow discoloration on my teeth from drinking too much sweet tea (it is a southern thing). I honestly can say that I highly recommend this teeth whitening kit. It runs about $150 but the quality is amazing.
I have been swarming over the Nords sale! Everything seems to be going SUPER fast and it is killing me. Mostly everything is an insane steal. Who else loves a good sale? I’ll be linking my must haves here! If you have a Nordstrom Card you can shop NOW, if you do not, you can shop starting on the 20th! These are all the new fall items going on sale before fall. How amazing is that? Definitely racking up on some fall items while they are on sale! Don’t forget to think about how you can pair things. If you get one of the camisoles (which is a MUST) I linked think about how you can wear it multiple times with a few different cardigans or with an off the shoulder sweater. Once some of my items come in i’ll be posting a few ways to wear them.
Tops & Tanks